Author Archives: 30somethingandsingle

plenty of fish in the sea

fishThere might be plenty of fish in the sea. But you still need the gear, need to prepare the bait & tackle, spend hours on the water throwing the line in.

Then sometimes you don’t even make a single catch!
It’s definitely not as easy as it sounds.

I have tried lots of different forms of fishing.. Blind dates, Internet dating, holiday romances… I’m yet to try speed dating. Maybe I should give that a whirl & see what happens.

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single and ready to mingle

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33335233_10155346904340766_3940919642708508672_nHave you ever felt like you wanted the word ‘single’ printed across your forehead? (oh poor Jen) Especially when you are walking through the shopping centre or down the street and you pass a good looking guy.

You wish traffic light parties were an everyday occurrence. Where if you are in a relationship you wear red. If it’s complicated you wear orange & if you are single you wear green.

So if you are single & ready to mingle, where do you go to meet decent guys?

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the lure to keep swiping

In the land of Tinder I find that there is this lure to keep swiping and matching with more guys. You might already be chatting to quiet a few, but what happens if you haven’t yet come across a better match. Someone who is more suitable to you!

Someone who understands you a little better.

Unlike other dating sites where you can see everyone’s profile, so you can filter through and choose the best of the bunch or most suitable. Tinder is one swipe at a time.

Once you match with someone you have the option to start chatting to them or keep playing (keep finding other guys). Every time I keep playing!

Until you are up to your eyeballs in conversations and are so over it and wonder why you ever downloaded the app.

OH THE STRUGGLE IS REAL… I think I need a wine!

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do you have any kids?

That question is often asked when you are getting to know someone. I know that there are many single parents who are looking for love and it’s not unusual to meet someone who has children.

When I’m asked “do you have any kids?”. My response is “hundreds and most of them have different Dads”

The reaction I receive is often quite funny!

I then follow up with none of them are actually mine, I just teach them for an hour or so and send them home each week.

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seasons

Seasons come and go but for many singles it seems to be an unending winter of being on your own.

The sign that spring might just be around the corner happens on the rare occasion and a date or two may eventuate or sometimes it last for a few months. But then somehow winter is once again in full blown motion and with it comes the winter blues.

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Then the holidays that creep upon us year after year. With Halloween over for another year. And Thanksgiving just around the corner, followed closely by Christmas. All times of the year when we would love to have that special someone by our side.

I think one thing that we need to remind ourselves of is that it is just a season, it’s not going to last forever. Rather than being down about it we can look on the bright side and try to see the positives.

Yes I’m single but this means my time is my time and I can do with it as I wish. Watch that TV series, eat chocolate in bed late at night, go to the gym at 7pm, cook dinner at 10pm, stalk friends on fb until the early hours of the evening. These things may well be different if we were married and had a family.

My money is mine. Ever noticed that dating can be expensive? Dinners, coffee’s, drinks, movies, concerts, the list goes on. So while you are single think of all that money you are saving. Or maybe you are spending it on holidays and why not travel the world, meet new people and have the best adventures while you can.

But I’m cold and lonely… Put on an extra jumper or grab a hot water bottle and catch up with a girlfriend (even if they are in a relationship – all girls need time for girly chats).

Life can change in an instant, so lets make the most of this single season because you never know this time next year life could be very different!

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internet dating

IMG_4961.JPGHow many guys is too many? When you can’t remember which Michael or John you are talking too. “Is he the police officer or the one of the FIFO guys?” Suddenly you realise you maybe chatting or dating too many. Where do you stop? What is the right balance? I know many singles are chatting to a few people at one time, either to keep their options open or incase it simply doesn’t work out. So let’s put a figure on it.. 8? 12?

When I first started internet dating I was surprised at how many guys would say it was refreshing to actually have a conversation with a girl. I found this very odd. But I soon learnt that you cant have deep and meaningful conversations with dozens of guys at once. So at some point you have to narrow the list down.

Talk to me and tell me how you roll with your online dating?

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set up

matchmaker

I’m a teacher and one of my parents wanted to set me up with her son. Plans were made for me to attend a BBQ at their house. Unfortunately due to our work schedules we missed each other.

I was given “Michael’s” phone number. So I sent him a text to say hi and explain who I was.

What this beautiful Mother didn’t know was that her son had recently been on a holiday to the other side of the country to spend time with his girlfriend.

This wasn’t the first time I had been set up with a guy. My family have set me up with a number of guys over the years. One even proposed, but I’ll tell you more about that story another day.

I know I’m not alone with friends and family playing match maker. I’d love to hear your experience with being set up…

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pick up line…

One New Years Eve I was at a pub with a group of friends. I was standing at the bar. Beside me stood a very good looking gentleman..

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So I began talking to this man.. My initial line was “do you think you can tell someone is single just by looking at them?”
So for the next 5mins whilst we were both waiting to be served we scanned the pub & had bets on if we thought these people were single or not.

Just as he had been served and was leaving he extended his hand to shake mine and said “my name is Jake and I’m single”

What’s the best pick up line you’ve heard?

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Time is a ticking

biological-clock

Sorry boys (if there are any who have stumbled across this site) I’m gonna go a little girly here. We all know the saying  about girls having a body clock. Well I’ve just found out in the last month or so that mine is ticking much faster than I’d hoped.

About eight years ago I ended up in hospital for over a week and eventually they worked out I had a cyst on one of my ovaries, about the size of a tennis ball that had twisted and it was causing me immense pain. So they removed the cyst and out with it came one of my ovaries.

At the time of the operation I asked if it would affect my fertility and if I would need to look into getting some of my eggs frozen? I was only in my mid twenties so I was told there was no hurry for that just yet.

Fast forward to this year and I was having irregular periods. So I went for a few different tests (that all came back normal). But it begged the question about my body clock. So I had the AMH (Anti-Mullerian Hormone) test performed by my gp. The level of AMH in a woman’s blood is generally a good indicator of her ovarian reserve. A level of 14-30 is considered normal. Whilst my result came back at 3.7

The doctor didn’t sugar coat the results she quite simply said “your levels are really low and if you want to have children you should consider doing so now”.

I was too shocked to ask any appropriate questions or say “well that’s a little hard when you don’t have a boyfriend, let alone a husband”

I don’t feel like I’m in my thirties and I always thought I have all the time in the world to get married and have children.

So the next step for me is to see a fertility specialist and look at what my options are. It’s a daunting step to consider these things when you are single and to potentially look at having your eggs frozen in the hope that you can have babies when you are ready.

I’ll keep you posted with the specialist recommendations and action plan.

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finally moved out

I grew up thinking that I would live at home until I was married. But when you are suddenly 30 and still living at home, with no prospects on the horizon you have to re-think the situation.

So I started looking for a unit to buy. I didn’t want anything too big or with much garden as I definitely don’t have skills in that department.

There weren’t many units/ apartments that were within my budget. But there was an amazing house with a big garden within my price range.

This time of seeing a mortgage broker, putting an offer on the house, counter-offers, renovating, buying furniture (I didn’t even own a toaster, the only household item I had was my bed) was a very daunting one!

I’d never lived out of home, never paid rent or bills before. I had a part time job and was running my own little business. As I started paying a mortgage I was finishing my part time job (my only regular income) to work full time for myself. I must have been mad!

moving-out-of-homeOn the 21st of December I moved into my own home. Just before driving there one last time I sat on the couch of my family home and cried. This was the only home I’d ever known. I didn’t want to move out, I loved living with my Mum.

My Mum said “you don’t have to go”. I replied “I don’t want too, but I know I have too”.
My Mum offered to come and spend the first night with me. But I knew it was something I had to do by myself.

It was a big step! But one now that I’m super glad I took.

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