how long do you wait?

I think everyone has their own opinion on how long you should wait before sleeping with someone.

Just recently I met a guy for the first time and we grabbed a bite to eat. At the end of the evening he wanted to know when he could see me again? I said I didn’t have much planned for the next few nights. So he said “well maybe I could drive your way tomorrow and we can watch a movie or something”.

So on our second date, we went for dinner. Then there was this big push for me to sleep with him. I said “I don’t sleep around”. But over the course of the evening he would have tried more than five times. It was actually almost awkward how forward and pushy this guy was.

sexI have a friend who waits two months before she will sleep with a new partner and then before she does she makes them go and get tested to make sure they don’t have an STD.

Then I have another friend who didn’t sleep with anyone until she go married in her early thirties. Her rule was “he can touch me neck up and knees down”.

So two dates in two days and then I never heard from this guy again. Definitely not a keeper. And I’m glad I didn’t give in to his constant pressure!

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Jumping into the world of tinder is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. If you like the look of someone you simply swipe right. If you have a mutual match you can start messaging a potential partner! So your matches are all based on the look of a few photos that you see of each other. No different really to scanning your local pub or seeking out potentials at a friends party.

My profile simply states a few of my likes, my height and that I’m not looking for one night stands.

This was one of my first experiences:

‘Hey ___
how was your weekend? Chat soon J’

‘Hi J, mine was great…yours? So if ur not after one night stands u cool with a casual fuck buddy arrangement?’

Since then I have had a few similar experiences. For many people, I have found they use this app to set up random hookups. This is def not my style!

How about you? Have you jumped on the tinder train?

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going exclusive with a guy

ExclusiveJust recently I went on a few dates with a guy I met at my gym. We got on super well. One night he had me over for dinner and had cooked roast veggies and marinated chicken. He had even taken note of my favourite drink and had purchased it to go along with our meal.

We saw each other or text each other every day for over a week. The only problem was that we hadn’t had ‘the talk’. So I wasn’t sure where we stood. Were we just getting to know each other and would we see what happens? Or was it more than that and was it ‘exclusive’? I wasn’t sure and I had a couple of other guys who wanted to catch up with me.

I didn’t want to assume anything so I decided I would ask. His reply went something like this “Yeah for sure .. Well I know I have feelings for you .. And I enjoy being with you also .. I suppose if u feel the same we can make it exclusive hey.. But only if thats what you want x”

So I have a boyfriend!! Wow it’s been awhile since I dated someone! I was excited & nervous all at the same time.

I text a good friend to tell her my news and she said “you have a boyfriend!!! I have to meet him”

So the newly formed couple were chatting and getting to know each other when something big came up. It was a game changer.

I knew my bf had kids from a previous relationship, but what I didn’t realise was that he didn’t want to get married or have any more children.

And well seen as though I have never been married and I don’t have any children, I would definitely love to have both one day.

We realised then and there that this wasn’t going to work. We both wanted different things.

So I was exclusive with a guy for one whole hour!

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courage (part two)

….part two (read part one here)

Without the use of Facebook or cell phones we did what people did back in the day before they were invented and made a plan to meet the next day.

And just like he said Sam turned up. We chatted some more and got on like a house on fire.

This man with an unusual accent was from France and he was travelling by himself. We met a few times and a friendship was formed. He was a true gentleman and it was all very unexpected.

Sam was headed to the airport a few days later. He came to see me a few hours before he was due to be at the airport.

It was a chance meeting, nothing more than a friendship. But I’m super glad I decided to walk back and initiate a conversation.

It’s not Hollywood and we didn’t fall in love, get married, have ten babies and live happily ever after!

But I did step out, take a chance, gain a new friend, have some fun and learn that it pays to be courageous.

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Today I was walking the beach and passed by this guy with gentle eyes and a kind smile. I had thought about him as I walked up the beach wondering if he still might be sitting in the same position as I walked back.

Half an hour later and he was still there, I passed him by for a second time and our eyes locked. Whilst I gave him a smile, I kept walking past.

Another 100 metres up the beach and I thought ‘what have I got to loose’. So I turned around and start to walk towards him. As I got closer I wanted to turn around and walk in the opposite direction. But it was too late, he had seen me walking towards him.

As I approached I said “are you here by yourself?” (I thought this was a smart move as it would be awkward to find out his girlfriend was swimming close by).

He replied “yes” but I detected an accent. So I asked “do you speak English?” Then instantly regretted what I had said. Of course he spoke English, he just answered my question! Idiot!

I asked a few more questions & then started to walk away. He said “where are you going?” To which I shrugged coz I really did know. He said “why don’t you sit for a while”

We chatted for about half an hour as the sun was setting before we parted ways.

…. to be continued

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finding mr right

Cartoon Men

Over my thirty something years I have dated a…
Graphic Designer
Salsa Dancer
Warehouse Manager
Serial dater
Personal trainer

None of them worked out…
How about you??

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making the most of it

Recently I read this quote “people are having babies… And I’m like which country am I going to next?”


I thought this is definitely me.. 90% of my friends are having or have babies. This is my chance to see the world.

I was able to do some travelling this year. I nearly passed up the opportunity as I had always wanted to travel to some of these countries with that special someone.

My new motto is “life is short so make the most of it”. Being single isn’t a reason to stop you from travelling it should encourage us to see the world and meet some interesting people. And add some FB new friends from all over the world!

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dating greys

For the last six months I have watched 225 episodes of ‘Greys Anatomy’. I started from the very beginning. I was a late comer to watching this smash-hit tv series.

Greys AnatomyIt has been a great love affair. I looked forward to getting home and watching the lives of Meredith and Derek, Lexie and Mark, Callie and Arizona, Cristina and Owen, Avery and April, Bailey and Richard.

I have laughed and cried with them. After Lexie and Mark died in the plane crash I was done and didn’t want to watch any more.

Why do we get so attached and get so drawn into fictional lives? Is it so we can live vicariously through these characters or so we don’t have to deal with the loneliness that is going on in our own lives?

Life isn’t always perfect, break ups happen, good people get sick. Friendships have their ups and downs. Love can blossom, but sometimes it withers and dies.

“The fairy tale might be slightly different than what you expected.
The castle may not be a castle.
It’s not so important that’s it’s happy ever after, just that it’s happy right now” Meredith (Greys Anatomy)

What makes you happy? Figure that out and start doing that?

I’m now up to date. I’ve seen all of the episodes from the first ten seasons.
So does anyone know when they release season eleven?

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10 things single people don’t want to hear…

1) “Why are you single?”
If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me this I would be one rich person!
“I have no friggin clue! Maybe if you told me we’d both know!”

fish2) “Plenty more fish in the sea”.
We all know there are plenty of fish in the sea, but there doesn’t seem to be many singles near me looking for a relationship.

3) “It’ll happen when you stop looking”.
I stopped looking years ago and it hasn’t helped me yet!

4) “You must be too picky”.
This is just crazy!! I think if we dated/ married the first single that came along, this would be an absolute train wreck.
{For the record I’m actually super easy going and will pretty much go on a date with anyone. But thankfully right now I’m not married to any old douche}

5) “Don’t settle for just anyone”.
So now I should be choosy.. I thought you said I was too picky.

6) “You are still young, you’ve got plenty of time”.
Good point! But I’d actually really like to spend these “young” years in a relationship.
Oh and every year I get a little older & the body clock seems to be ticking.

7) “Have you tried online dating?”
Just about every dating site out known to man. Including apps, free sites, pay per month sites and none of them helped. Well apart from starting LOTS conversations with plenty of guys and adding numerous amounts of contacts to my phone.

8) “You just need to put yourself out there more”.
I’m not sure where “out there” is? But maybe if you could elaborate that might be a great start.
And as for “joining more groups”. I’m single, I’m not in need of more hobbies.

9) “I’m glad I’m not single, coz I’m not sure where I’d find a man”
Thanks for single handedly rubbing in the fact that you are in a relationship, you have no clue where to help me look and that I have no hope in hell of meeting someone.

10) “I’m engaged” or “Will you be my bridesmaid”
We are honestly happy for you, but all the while dying on the inside!
A few years ago eleven of my friends got married in one year and I was maid of honour at three of them.
It was a rough time, especially as all of my friends started getting engaged.

I’d love to hear any others you have or the statement you hear the most?

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